Joss Whedon gets romantic… and it’s not a pretty sight.
The H-Bomb: Rebecca (Zoe Kazan) and Dylan (Michael Stahl-David) couldn’t be more different. She is an introverted, skittish type who is married to an overbearing douche bag of a doctor (Mark Feuerstein). He is a paroled ex-con who’s a good person at heart, and is trying his damnedest to go straight, but his old friends have been trying to get him to take part in a heist they have planned. They live in different parts of the country, lead very different lives, and, for all intents and purposes, are from two completely different worlds. But Rebecca and Dylan do have a connection.
It’s a connection they have shared since childhood. Something neither one has been able to understand, or explain, but something they both have been vaguely aware of… a connection of their minds. Their whole lives, they have, for brief flashes, been able to see through each others eyes, as well as share certain physical senses. When she is knocked unconscious from a sledding accident, so is he. When he gets punched in the face during a bar fight, she feels it, too.
Lately, their connection has been growing stronger. Their visions have been lasting longer, and now, not only can they see through the other person’s eyes, they can hear what the other person says, and with that, Rebecca and Dylan finally become aware of each other. They start speaking to one another, first at pre-arranged times when they’re alone, then before long, they’re talking pretty much all the time, anywhere, even in public, which does draw attention, since to third parties it looks as though they’re talking to themselves. But they’re so taken with this mysterious ability, they don’t care.
Initially, their conversations are strictly of the getting-to-know-you variety, but naturally, or perhaps… supernaturally, an attraction between Dylan and Rebecca develops. However, before they can make arrangements to meet in person, Rebecca’s overbearing douche bag doctor husband, fearing that she isn’t psychic so much as simply psycho, is seriously considering shipping her off to the funny farm for an extended vacation. What’s worse, Dylan can’t leave the state of New Mexico without violating his parole. What, oh what, are two telepathic lovers to do?
A cross between The Twilight Zone and Nicholas Sparks, In Your Eyes comes to us from writer/executive producer Joss Whedon, who dusted off a script he wrote over twenty years ago, and handed it over to director Brin Hill (whose previous film is something called Ball Don’t Lie). The result is an intriguing premise with true potential… potential that is squandered when the film turns into nothing more than a standard, by-the-numbers love story.
Missing from the mix is Whedon’s typical sense of humor. This is not fanboy Whedon, this is earnest Whedon, trying to make a sincere romance, and it just doesn’t work. When the film isn’t wallowing in romantic drama cliches; poor boy falling for rich girl, forbidden love, yada, yada, it’s simply rendered goofy by its execution. The numerous scenes where Dylan and Rebecca speak psychically in public are downright awkward, for both the extras and the audience. Every single time they would start conversing while in public places, I wondered why they wouldn’t just wait until they’re both alone, that way they could talk without drawing unwanted attention to themselves. The movie never gave me a good answer to that question. Whedon simply decided these two are so in love, that they don’t give a shit if they look like total nut jobs to the people around them.
That the movie would have us believe that these two wouldn’t have even an iota of self-awareness is just too much to swallow. But, what plays even more awkwardly than their conversations, is the sex scene. Yes, there is a sex scene. A long distance sex scene. Kind of like phone sex, without the phones. It’s played with the straightest of straight faces, and comes off as laughable. It’s not as unintentionally hilarious as anything in Adore or The Canyons, but it sure as shit comes close. At least our clairvoyant lovebirds had the good sense to not perform this scene in public. Oy vey.
When the film wasn’t developing it’s romance in such a clumsy manor and constantly making me feel embarrassed for its lead characters, it simply bored me with its blandly predictable plotting. As I stated, take out the paranormal element, and what we’re left with is a very routine romantic drama that follows a very familiar story arc, leading to a climax that’s every bit as predictable as it is implausible. Call me a cold, cynical bastard, but not only was I unmoved by the end, I was deeply and profoundly bored.
If there’s anything that saves In Your Eyes from being a total wash, it’s the cast. Kazan brings a quirky charm to Rebecca that would have endeared me to her, had not the writing made her out to be such a goddamn flake, and Stahl-David shows himself to be a charismatic chap who could, someday, become a viable leading man. Together these two did manage to make this otherwise insufferable drivel quasi-sufferable. I also should applaud Feuerstein for not going way over-the-top with his portrayal of Rebecca’s douche bag doctor husband, Phillip. He plays Dr. Phil as someone who, despite being an asshole and a control freak, is well-intentioned and genuinely concerned for his wife. Sadly, Feuerstein approached the character with far more nuance than the script did.
You might be noticing a pattern here. Most of what’s wrong with In Your Eyes has to do with its screenplay. This is a script that Whedon dug out from his bottom drawer, and he really should have left it there. It doesn’t matter if a film is well acted, nicely photographed, and competently directed, if the script doesn’t work, then the movie doesn’t work, and this script really doesn’t work. There’s no two ways about it, the buck stops with Whedon.
