“Must you be so rude, crude, and stupid about everything?” The H-Bomb: Last week, Film Grouch’s esteemed founder, Rick Swift, was approached by one Myles McLane to review Hit Team, an indie comedy that Mr. McLane wrote, produced, and starred in. Rick happily obliged, and upon viewing the film, proceeded to give it what is possibly the most vicious thrashing he’s ever … [Read more...] about Hit Team
Complete Shit
Hit Team
"Either she's dead or asleep with the PMS runs." Detective Akeem Swift shot: Dear God, what did I just watch? It was like watching a porn parody, but with worse dialogue and acting. At least with a porn parody, there is some sex between the terribly ridiculous story-telling. You know those disclaimers they have at the end of every film? "The characters and events … [Read more...] about Hit Team
Fifty Shades of Grey
“Eat me. Drink me.” The H-Bomb: Filling in for her sick, journalism student roommate, English lit. major Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) arrives at a sleek office building to interview young, uber-wealthy business tycoon, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Since Anastasia has absolutely no journalistic training or experience, the interview is exceptionally clunky and … [Read more...] about Fifty Shades of Grey
Left Behind
My God… The H-Bomb: The personal life of college student Chloe Steele (Cassi Thomson) has been in turmoil ever since her mom, Irene (Lea Thompson) became a super-Christian about a year ago. It’s that religious metamorphosis, especially the way she keeps carrying on about “The Rapture,” that keeps Chloe from visiting home, and that keeps her father, airline pilot Rayford … [Read more...] about Left Behind
Jay and Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie
Same old Smith. The H-Bomb: Never say never, as the saying goes. After Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back came out in 2001, writer/director Kevin Smith said never again; he stated in no uncertain terms that he was retiring his beloved stoner duo, and declared that movie their swan song. I can't say I blame him, at that point he was about 30, and while he had a good run with … [Read more...] about Jay and Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie
