Yo Joe? More like . . . don't go!!! Limacher Low Down: I start this review off by admitting that I may be one of the VERY few people who found enjoyment in the First G.I. Joe movie. It harkened back to my childhood, and was something I took excitement and joy in watching. I had the HIGHEST of hopes in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, but unlike its predecessor, I was GREATLY … [Read more...] about G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Complete Shit
Paranormal Activity 4
Enough already! The H-Bomb: I'm just going to cut right to it, here, Paranormal Activity 4 is what you get when you take a movie franchise that is fueled only by one single idea, one single gimmick, and just run it completely into the ground. It starts to feed off itself, cannibalize itself, just recycling the same old shit until it stops being a valid continuation of the … [Read more...] about Paranormal Activity 4
Cosmopolis
Say what, David? The H-Bomb: 28-year-old Wall Street billionaire Eric Packer (Robert Pattinson) is in for one hell of a day. His latest investment proved to be a not so wise one, as he stands to lose his entire fortune, and his security detail has just informed him that a credible threat has been made against his life. Upon receiving all this wonderful … [Read more...] about Cosmopolis
Total Recall (The Crappy Version)
A Total Dud The H-Bomb: From Hollywood super-hack Len Wiseman, he who is responsible for the duller-than-dogshit Underworld and the dickless Die Hard 4, comes the latest why-did-they-fucking-bother remake, Total Recall, which takes away all the fun, gory, campy awesomeness of the Paul Verhoeven/Arnold Schwarzenegger classic and replaces it with pure, unadulterated … [Read more...] about Total Recall (The Crappy Version)
Cloud Atlas
Directed & Written By: Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run) Lana & Andy Wachowski (The Matrix) Cast: Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump), Halle Berry (X-Men), Jim Broadbent (The Iron Lady), Hugo Weaving (Captain America), Jim Sturgess (21), Susan Sarandon (Arbitrage), Hugh Grant (Love Actually) A few years ago my son turned me on to an astonishing book called "Cloud Atlas", the third novel … [Read more...] about Cloud Atlas
