Gnomeo, Gnomeo, wherefore art thou Gnomeo?
The H-Bomb: Oh my, what would the Bard make of this? You see, this is normally the part of the review where I explain the set up of the plot, but in this case, the title says it all. This is “Romeo & Juliet”, except with garden gnomes as the star crossed lovers. Well, more or less. There are other differences, such as; very little of Shakespeare’s wordplay is featured, there’s a lot more humor in the story, it’s geared to a much younger crowd, it’s animated, the tragic ending has been… tweaked, and… oh yeah, Romeo (oh so cleverly re-named Gnomeo) and Juliet are a couple of freakin’ garden gnomes!
Throughout the whole movie, I couldn’t stop wondering what the thinking behind it was. A children’s film based on (what I guess is) Shakespeare’s most famous play? Was this some kind of attempt to introduce younglings to his work, so maybe they can develop an appreciation for it before grad school? I highly doubteth it. Could it instead be a shameless plundering of source material for an industry bereft of new ideas? Maybe. Some struggling screenwriters with severe insomnia watching the Leonardo DiCaprio “Romeo + Juliet” as the second half of a double bill with “Amelie“? Most likely.
I must admit though, given that I had less than low expectations going in, there is a quirkiness to Gnomeo & Juliet that kept me amused and interested early on. The Montagues and Capulets (or in this case, the Blues and the Reds) holding lawnmower races to prove who was the best and sneaking into each others yards to destroy various prized plants, much the way that typical feuding suburban neighbors do, made the film more clever than the desperately dumb kiddie flick I was anticipating. But, as the pic wore on, the cleverness wore off (around the time the plastic pink flamingo with the Latino accent showed up), my interest began to wane, and eventually I was just waiting for the dang thing to end. (Dang? Freakin’? Since this is a children’s film; I decided to soften my own language so Swift doesn’t do it for me.)
As far as my likes, the animation is nice and vibrant, though the 3-D is a big, fat nothing. James McAvoy and Emily Blunt lend their voices to Gnomeo and Juliet, and they are both decent, though their best work . . . this ain’t. However, there are some gems in the supporting vocal cast. Jason Statham, who I was just talking about in my previous review (The Mechanic), has a fun turn as the villainous Tybalt, as does Ozzy Osbourne (!!!) as his sidekick, a plastic deer. Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, and Patrick Stewart as the voice of Bill Shakespeare’s statue (actually listed in the frackin‘ credits as Bill Shakespeare) can also be heard, but the highlight for me was none other than the vocal cameo of Hulk Hogan, who voices over a commercial for a lawnmower on steroids. Listening to him, I thought to myself, “Is that who I think it is?” When I checked IMDb after the movie, lo and behold, it was!
At the end, “Gnomeo & Juliet”, while hardly a great Shakespeare adaptation, is cute entertainment for kids, and I think most adults will find it bearable, as well. Also, if you happen to be an Elton John fan (and honestly, who isn‘t?), you might want to check it out for that alone, because his songs are featured prominently on the soundtrack. As to what “Bill” Shakespeare would think, I imagine him sighing and saying something to the effect of, “Well, at least it was better than the DiCraprio version.”
