“Even my dreams are low budget!”
The H-Bomb: He’s gonna take you back to the past, to play the shitty games that suck ass… or, in this case, one shitty game that sucks ass. The foul-mouthed brainchild of aspiring filmmaker James Rolfe, The Angry Video Game Nerd first surfaced on YouTube in 2006, and has gone on to become one of the most popular web series of all time. His schtick is simple; review 8-Bit Nintendo games, ones that were either unplayably difficult or just complete crap, in the most vulgar way imaginable. His use of profanity is often nonsensical (coining such colorful phrases as “A shit-load of fuck”), and the acts of self-mutilation he claims he’d rather perform than play certain games are too grotesque even for me to repeat.
Rolfe’s act caught on like wildfire, earning him legions of fans and scores of imitators, with his appeal being, in part, nostalgia for the games he covers, as well as his creative use of four-letter words. Over the years, his videos became more elaborate and ambitious, incorporating skits and story lines into the reviews (ever wanted to see someone defecate on Bugs Bunny’s face?), and now, we have Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie, which features the world’s rudest, crudest retro-gamer in his very own feature-length adventure.
Written and directed by Rolfe with his college friend Kevin Finn, and funded through Kickstarter, this zany romp opens up the world beyond the Nerd’s gaming basement and pits him against what is reputed to be the worst video game ever made. It was a game produced for the Atari 2600 in the early 1980’s, based upon a very popular movie about a cute alien, and when it was released, the game was so horrible and flopped so hard, that its distributors saw no other option than to gather up the millions of unsold game cartridges and bury them in a landfill in the New Mexico desert. Or so the legend goes…
Cut to modern day, a less-than-scrupulous gaming company, Cockburn Industries, is planning on releasing a sequel to this terrible, terrible game. A sequel that promises to be even worse, because in this day and age, bad is the new good. In order to sell this intentionally shitty shit-heap to the gamers of the world, the suits at Cockburn plan on enlisting the help of the Angry Video Game Nerd (Rolfe), by getting him to review and rant on it, since every time he reviews a game, he makes people want to play it, no matter how awful he says it is.
Trouble is, the Nerd has made a point of not reviewing the original game. For years, he has vowed to never review that particular game, no matter how many requests he gets to do so. See, for him, playing and critiquing these games isn’t fun, it’s an arduous task that he must endure, because no one else will. In addition to that, he received this particular game as a gift when he was a small child, and the traumatic experience of playing it is one that haunts him to this day.
Anyhow, when the Nerd hears the news that a sequel to this legendarily horrendous game is in production, he is mortified. He figures that the only way to stop this new game from coming, is to debunk the landfill myth of the old one. So, accompanied by his pathetically loyal assistant, Cooper (Jeremy Suarez), and Mandi (Sarah Glendening), a hot female gamer with an agenda of her own, the Nerd embarks on a road trip out west, in order to prove once and for all that this mythic landfill doesn’t exist.
Once he arrives in New Mexico, however, the Nerd discovers that not only is there a landfill, but that there are some pretty powerful people who have much more hidden in that desert than a million copies of a shitty video game. Now, the Nerd finds himself in the middle of an utterly loony plot involving the military, aliens, zombies, rabid gaming fanatics, and a giant mech-monster, with the entire fate of the universe at stake. Needless to say, the Nerd’s gonna need more than a Power Glove and a six pack of Rolling Rock to get him through this one.
Well, I have to hand it to Mr. Rolfe, he set out to make something truly epic, and in that regard, he succeeded admirably. A few instances of questionable green-screening aside, Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie is an admirably ambitious effort that is wholly cinematic in its look and feel, appearing much grander than its reported $300,000 budget. Beneath the obscenities, Rolfe has always been a filmmaker of considerable skill, with a strong sense of comedic timing, and a talent for editing and visual storytelling. He brings all that to the table, here, pulling out all the stops, and giving his fans a madcap comic adventure that is sure to go above and beyond any of their expectations.
Myself, I’d say I’m a casual fan, as opposed to one of the uber-fanatics who worship the ground he walks on (trust me, such people do exist). I’ve enjoyed many of his videos, and I can certainly relate to his frustrations with a number of games, having grown up with them myself (I remember trying to land that jet in Top Gun for the NES… it’s fucking impossible). I went into the movie expecting to moderately enjoy it, and for the most part, I did. It never made me laugh the way the early AVGN videos did, but for most of its running time, it did keep a smile on my face.
I feared that Rolfe’s potty-mouthed ranting would wear thin and become grating after two hours, since sometimes two minutes of it can be too much. Fortunately, there’s much more going on, story wise, than the Nerd simply cursing up a storm. To the fans who tune in specifically for his Tourette’s laden tirades, fear not, for there are plenty of them interspersed amongst the comedic chaos to keep you happy.
I keep bringing up his fans, because obviously, they’re the ones who will get the most out of this movie. Yes, those unfamiliar with the Nerd can see it and enjoy it, but much like with Wayne’s World or Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back, it helps if you’re somewhat familiar with the character before going into the film. Just search “Angry Video Game Nerd” on YouTube, and you’ll find dozens of his videos (I highly recommend his Atari Porn episode, myself), but be warned, they are most definitely NOT safe for work.
Since the Nerd’s admirers are the target audience here, they will probably be very forgiving of the film’s shortcomings; such as the mid-section that drags, the ridiculous plot that seems overly labored and makes little sense, the number of jokes that just fall flat (nothing with that limbless General and the butch army chick worked for me), and the 114-minute running time, which is much longer than it needs to be. Sorry, but there is absolutely no reason why this silly pile of fluff needed to be a second longer than ninety minutes. Also, while the film does cleverly satirize some of the AVGN’s more… enthusiastic fans, as well as some of his truly lesser imitators, it could have gone farther with that and done more with it. Alas, the satirical and self-parodying aspects of the film feel like missed opportunities.
As a whole, though, Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie is a roundly entertaining flick, and from an independent filmmaking standpoint, quite an impressive one. Some will accuse Rolfe of indulgent ego stroking, especially casting himself in the role of savior of the universe, but I didn’t get that sense. What I saw was a sincere love letter to the millions of geeks who have made him the Internet star that he is, and all evidence indicates they are eating it up and asking for seconds, as the numerous screenings held all over the country, nearly 30 in total, have all sold out.
Now the movie is available on demand, and a link will be provided at the bottom. For the initiated, I highly recommend it (though they hardly need my recommendation). For the uninitiated, I also say check it out. Even if you’ve never heard of the Nerd before in your life, his movie is still funnier than most of the so-called comedies Hollywood craps out these days. Throwing in everything, including the kitchen sink, as well as some choice cameos (Nostalgia Critic, Black Nerd, and one big surprise), Rolfe has created a bat-shit bonkers live-action cartoon that, if you’re not a fan of his web personae, just might make you into one.
Watch Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie here: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/avgn
