Directed by: Scott Wheeler
Written by: Nathan Dalton, Chris De Christopher, Rafael Diaz Wagner
Cast: Justin Ray, Kayla Compton, Ben Heyman
Swift shot: There are now two films that will make me question my pastry choices, Attack of the Killer Donuts and a classic Christopher Columbus film with a small cult following about a young, brilliant British detective. Attack of the Killer Donuts has absolutely nothing to do with the aforementioned classic, but I would be remiss not to mention it here.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect going into screening this one. I remember watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes in middle school and being underwhelmed, other than one scene where this old guy is on a rocking chair and casually comments that he’s watching the tomatoes eat a kid or some shit. So, I kept an open mind and was hopeful that I would at least be mildly entertained. Gotta admit, for a low-budget farce film, this one had a couple of nice moments.
Johnny (Ray) is a complete lovestruck fool, he’s convinced he’s in a committed relationship with blonde bombshell Veronica (Lauren Compton). Johnny’s hot mom, Emma (Kassandra Voyagis) thinks Veronica is using him for his money – she is, and Johnny’s other friend, who is a girl, Michelle (Kayla Compton) works with him at the barely functioning Dandy Donuts. As you might have guessed, any paltry pastry pennies that Johnny makes goes directly to that slag snooch snatcher, Veronica.
Meanwhile, Johnny’s “misunderstood genius” Uncle Luther (Michael Swan) is working on a reanimation serum that he injects into what can abstractly be described as a rat. Something I appreciated with Attack of the Killer Donuts, there were no vertebrates used in the entire film – the “animals” are ridiculous looking! Wait until you see Miss Scolari’s cat, by far the funniest and creepiest part of the whole movie.
In true monster movie fashion, the mad scientist accidentally contaminates the crappy crullers at Dandy Donuts and eventually they start killing people. Hardly a spoiler there, but the ways they kill people got fun. See, it would be incredibly lame if the donuts all just flung themselves at their victims over and over again. Oh sure, that happens, probably more than I liked, but kudos to the writers for getting imaginative about how else these little baked bastards can dispatch their prey.
The funny thing about Donuts is that the story was actually ironically entertaining. I was expecting myself to be bored with the characters and the story half-way through. Johnny and Michelle had a predictable climax, but the addition of oddball Sean Astin/Seth Rogen, err, I mean Ben Heyman as nebbish, nerd Howard brought a certain unexpected charm to the movie that was about to go stale.
Also, any film that can get C. Thomas Howell in it, playing a cop who shoots up donuts – well, that’s gotta be recognized as some incredible casting. And his partner Dick (Frederick Burns) was good as the straight man to his damaged goods “dirty” cop.
Ultimately, unless you go in for the zany screwball, farce films like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes creature feature films, you are probably not going to wait in line to order up a dozen of these little meanies, but if that is your thing, you might just add this quirky little flick to your cult-classic collection. I mean, it is what it is, the filmmakers know exactly what you want to see, and they don’t disappoint.
And for the first time ever, we are offering one lucky fan the chance to screen this film, for free. All you need to do is be the first person to guess my favorite donut. Hint, I put a code in my review to help. The winner will either receive a hard copy of the film or a digital iTunes code. Comment with your answer below.
