“This is definitely not an airplane.”
Directed by: Colin Minihan
Written by: Colin Minihan, Stuart Ortiz (The Vicious Brothers)
Starring: Brittany Allen, Freddie Stroma, Michael Ironside, Gil Bellows
The H-Bomb: In a set up never before seen in a horror movie, five college kids head out to a remote cabin in the woods to spend the weekend. This scholarly posse is comprised of good girl April (Brittany Allen), her nice guy boyfriend, Kyle (Freddie Stroma), wild druggie chick, Melanie (Melanie Papalia), obnoxious douche bag, Seth (Jesse Moss), and bubble headed blonde, Lex (Anja Savcic). Upon arriving at the cabin, our gang of archetypes wastes no time in commencing with the drinking, and the drugging, and the overall tomfoolery, in what promises to be a fun-filled weekend of debauchery. Sensing that the time is right, Kyle drops to his knee and pops the question to April, who responds with uncertainty… and drama ensues.
But before they have a chance to work out their relationship woes, a fiery object falls from the night sky and crashes into the woods behind the cabin. Upon investigating the crash site, our heroes discover that this wreckage is most definitely not a fucking airplane. It doesn’t take them long to connect this crash to local reports of people who have recently gone missing in that area. After their attempt to drive into town for help fails epically, our booze-addled heroes must hole up inside the cabin in order to fend off a horde of otherworldly invaders who most definitely do not come in peace.
If you’ve ever wanted to see an alien abduction flick where someone actually gets anally probed on camera, then this is the movie for you. Sadly, that is about all the novelty that Extraterrestrial, a gory new sci-fi shocker by the Vicious Brothers (Grave Encounters), provides. The basic premise, college kids vacationing at a remote cabin as bad shit happens, is one we’ve seen about a million and a half times, in everything from The Evil Dead, to Cabin Fever, to the obnoxious, over-rated meta-fest that is The Cabin in the Woods. The key difference with Extraterrestrial being that instead of zombies, or demons, or a skin virus, the monsters are, as you might have guessed, aliens.
Essentially, this is Evil Dead meets Signs, or Cabin Fever crossed with Fire in the Sky. For all intents and purposes, this is another Evil Dead movie. The fact that the paranormal villains are aliens instead of ancient Candarian demons really makes no difference at all. Boiled down to its essentials, it’s about kids fending off unstoppable forces and trying to survive the night, with every genre trope and cliche imaginable. That said, I’m in no way implying that Extraterrestrial is a bad movie, because it most certainly is not.
The Vicious Brothers (I find myself reflexively rolling my eyes every time I type that) have a deep affection for the genre, and it shows. They certainly live up to their name when it comes to throwing blood around, as the on-screen deaths are indeed vicious, and their eerie use of colored mood lighting does achieve the desired effect. These “brothers” also seem to know their shit when it comes to building tension and suspense. The opening sequence set around a phone booth in the pouring rain clinched me by the nuts from the outset, the scenes where our leads are stalked in and around the cabin are genuinely intense, and the entire third act, set aboard an alien ship, is totally fucking bonkers. This flick may not have an original frame in its entire 101 minute running time, but I’d be lying my damn dick off if I said I wasn’t constantly entertained.
Even the characterizations are stronger than your average genre fair, with Allen coming off as a down-to-earth, likable lead. She has real chemistry with her on-screen boyfriend, Stroma, and when the shit hits the fan, she shows considerable strength without turning into a super hero. Papalia, as the stoner chick, is a surprisingly sympathetic stoner chick, and Savcic’s stereotypical blonde proves not to be as air-headed as she initially comes off. It’s only Moss’s smart-alecky Seth who proves to be a total dick, however, the changes he goes through when the aliens do attack, show that he even has more depth than the typical slasher bonehead. Usually in movies of this ilk, there are at least a couple of characters who I actively want to see die. That is not the case here. Hats off to the “brothers” and the strong young cast for pulling off that feat.
I must also give some major props to Gil Bellows, who brings gravitas to the picture as the pragmatic, no nonsense sheriff investigating the disappearances in the area. I’m not too crazy about how his story arc played out, though he is perfectly solid in the role. My favorite performance, though, belongs to Michael Ironside as Travis, the crazed hermit/Vietnam vet/pot grower/UFO expert. He plays this freaked out survivalist nutball with glee, chewing up the scenery and spitting it out as he explains who these aliens are and what they want. So good is he, in fact, that he almost made me forget that his character is there solely to doll out exposition at the plot’s convenience. And how exactly did he know what the aliens’ agenda was? How has he been allowed to live this long? For the sake of not ruining the fun, questions such as these are best left unasked.
There is indeed a lot of fun to be had with Extraterrestrial, so long as it’s kept in mind that nearly every damn thing that happens in it is a ripoff of homage to something else. Going beyond the simple cabin setup, the kids try to fend off the aliens by boarding up the windows and doors… like in Signs. When people are abducted, a shaft of light hits them, then lifts them up off of the ground… like in Fire in the Sky. When we see the inside of the alien ship, the design of it is stolen directly from the design of the space jockey ship in Alien and Prometheus. When we see the inside of the alien mother ship, the look of that has been lifted from the mother ship in Independence Day. Yes, seriously… fucking Independence Day. Nothing in the realm of horror and sci-fi is sacred to The Vicious Brothers, even The X-Files gets pick-pocketed here.
And that is what drags this otherwise entertaining flick down. Extraterrestrial doesn’t feel like a proper film unto itself, just a polished collection of scenes, and ideas, and set pieces taken from earlier, better movies. The Vicious Brothers aren’t telling a story so much as they’re showing off their DVD collection. Sorry guys, but I’ve seen those movies, too. All of them. Hell, they couldn’t even come up with an original look for their E.T.s, instead just opting for the spectacularly tired “grey alien” look. This filmmaking team has clearly demonstrated that they can tell a story effectively… now they just need to come up with a story of their own.
