Damn. For me there is nothing better than going into a film you have low-to-no expectations for, then being pleasantly surprised when you actually like it. My expectations for “Sorority Row” were less than low. The previews for it had my lame-o-meter ringing off the charts, and the whole thing just looked like another shitty post-modern teen hack ‘n slash flick. From what I saw, I was expecting nothing but maximum suckage from this thing. Well… looks, as they say, can be deceiving, and just as I, as a horror geek, was ready to tear this movie a new asshole, I actually found myself really digging it.
The story goes down like this; six Theta Pi sorority girls decide to play a prank on one of their boyfriends, only the prank goes too far, and one of them ends up dead. And being the dumb college kids that they are, they naturally go the dumb route and make the dumb decision to cover up the crime instead of going to the police. So, they drop their dead friend down an old well in the middle of nowhere and go about their lives as if nothing happened.
Some eight months later, the girls are graduating and are planning to throw the party to end all parties at their sorority house. They’ve put the incident behind them and have gone on with their lives, but then someone sends them a disturbing message… someone knows what these girls have done. Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, a hooded killer starts picking them off one at a time. Who could it be? Did someone witness what they did that night… was their sorority sister really dead? You’ll have to watch to find out.
Now, if that description reminded you a little of “I Know What You Did Last Summer”, don’t worry, you’re not the only one. In fact, there’s a lot of stuff in this flick that you’ve seen in many others. This movie most certainly does not re-invent the wheel. Yes, all the clichés of the horror genre are here. Costumed killer… check. False, make you jump scares… check. Grisly, bloody deaths… check. Hot young people drinking, partying, getting it on, and getting killed… check. Princess Leia toting a shotgun… check. (Okay, that last one I haven’t seen before, but whatever)
However, what “Sorority Row” may lack in originality, it makes up for in execution. Yeah, the characters are the usual assortment of smart alecky brats that have populated every slasher film since “Scream”, but the cast of attractive (meaning fucking hot) young actresses brings life to them and makes them somewhat interesting. Briana Evigan I totally loved in the lead as the one sorority chick who seems to have her head screwed on straight. Before this the only thing I saw her in was “S. Darko”, and she was the only bright spot in that worthless piece of excrement. She can be a big star someday if she plays her cards right. Leah Pipes is fun as the queen bitch of the clique who always makes the stupid decisions for the rest of the group, and Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce) has her moments as the nerdy girl who can always be counted on to start crying when things get tough.
Director Stewart Hendler keeps the pacing brisk and the tension high. He sure knows how to milk every shock moment for all that it’s worth. Can’t wait to see what he does in the future. The killings are imaginative and appropriately gruesome, and there are twists aplenty. Just when I thought I had the killer fingered, the movie pulled the rug out from under me. I also loved that it didn’t pussy out and go all PG-13 on my ass; there is blood, there are guts, and there are boobies… nice ones (gratuitous nudity used to be a staple of slasher flicks, but now it’s so hard to come by, what the hell?).
Just so it’s clear, though, “Sorority Row” is no classic. Not by any stretch. It’s not going to show up a few years from now on one of Bravo’s “100 Greatest Horror Movies” Halloween specials or anything. There’s nothing here that we haven’t seen done before. But what this movie does do it does well. I’ve sat through so many crappy “Scream” clones in my time that I can appreciate the occasional good one when it comes along. Yeah, there’s not a lot of originality on display, but for me it sure worked while I was watching it.
So, even though I walked into this gory little puppy expecting to hate it, I ended up having a damn good time instead. The main reason it works is, unlike a certain other slasher pic I saw recently, this one just plays it straight and doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is (yeah, “Halloween II”, I”m talkin’ to you). And what it is, is a straight up horror film that manages to get a few screams, jolts, and jumps out of the audience. If you’re looking for a horror masterpiece, stay home and rent “The Shining”. But if you’re a guy looking for a good date movie, where your lady can clutch your arm and huddle in close and maybe give you a little action afterwards (big maybe), then you can do a lot worse than “Sorority Row”.
