“I can smell my friend being cooked.”
Directed by: Eli Roth
Written by: Eli Roth, Gulliermo Amoedo
Starring: Lorenza Izzo, Ariel Levy, Daryl Sabara, Aaron Burns
The H-Bomb: College freshman Justine (Lorenza Izzo) joins a student activist group on a trip to Peru after taking a shine to the group’s charismatic leader, Alejandro (Ariel Levy). Their mission: to head deep into the jungle in order to stop a bunch of evil corporate-y types and their private army from bulldozing the forest, and killing off the indigenous tribes.
Upon completing their mission, the merry band of tree huggers are on their way home when their small plane goes down, killing several of them and leaving the rest dazed, and confused, and stranded deep in the heart of the Amazon. Before long, Justine, Alejandro, and the rest of the survivors come to the terrible realization that they have no way of contacting the outside world, and that their crash has attracted the attention of some less-than-hospitable locals.
Of course, if only our young SJWs had seen the last Indiana Jones film, then they would know that all they have to do is wave a crystal skull around and shout a bunch of gibberish, and the natives would go running. But alas, our young SJWs have not seen the last Indiana Jones film, they have no crystal skull, and as a result, they soon find themselves wishing to hell that they had died in that crash with their fellow travelers, as a cannibal holocaust is about to commence…
Holy hell… after a two year delay, The Green Inferno, directed and co-written by “Splat Pack” auteur Eli Roth, has finally made it to theaters, and I must say, having now seen it, it’s understandable why a distributor would get cold feet about releasing it (if that is what happened), as it is easily one of the sickest fucking movies I have seen in a long, long ass time… and I say that with love. Roth, clearly taking inspiration from the infamous 1980 cult film, Cannibal Holocaust, set out to make as disturbing a picture as he possibly could, and bless him, he has succeeded.
Here, Roth carries over his theme of young dumb Americans going to places they don’t belong, and the bad things that happen to them. This time, his young dumb Americans get it worse than they’ve ever gotten it before, as I would wager this is more gory, more gruesome, and more grotesque than both of his Hostel films combined. Be warned, The Green Inferno is not some fantasy slasher in the vein of Freddy or Jason. No, it is very real world, very believable, and most definitely not for the squeamish. No fuckin’ way, no fuckin’ how.
In fact, I can only comfortably recommend this to the hardest of hardcore gore hounds, as this is not the kind of scary movie you want to take a date to, especially not if you just had dinner, or if you plan on having dinner immediately afterwards. I’ve seen some grisly shit in my movie going life, and I’m pretty numb to most of it, but there were times where the non-stop onslaught of dismembering, disemboweling, and the devouring of raw flesh even forced me to avert my eyes, and abandon the over-priced bucket of popcorn I brought in with me.
Perhaps I’m overselling the blood and guts aspect, though I honestly don’t think so. Normally, gore has no effect on me, whatsoever, aside from making me think, “Oh, that looks cool.” I certainly never find it scary, in and of itself. Here, I was genuinely disturbed, because I believed what I was seeing. It was that same sense of uneasiness I had watching Cannibal Holocaust, only Eli Roth didn’t have to butcher animals on camera to create that feeling, so hats off to him for that.
Though really, the sense of unease isn’t from the extreme violence alone, but from the fact that the film is goddamn intense. For the first forty-five minutes, we spend time with Justine, Alejandro, and their fellow travelers (including Spy Kid Daryl Sabara, as a pot smoking ginger whose dick makes an unwarranted cameo), getting to know them, and growing to like them (the ones who are likable, anyway), that way when their situation becomes dire and hopeless, and they wind up on the locals’ dinner menu, we are one hundred percent invested in them and terrified for them. That’s what every good horror movie should do, and what most forget to do, give the audience people to get behind.
And The Green Inferno is a good horror movie. It is one fucking awesome horror movie, I should say. It’s one of the best horror flicks I’ve seen this year, and I would go as far as to call it Eli Roth’s best film. Are there things I could pick at it for? Sure, the first half, the one with all that character development I was talking about, goes on for quite a while, and some viewers may get bored. The deliberately paced, slow burn approach just isn’t for everyone.
An issue I had was with Roth’s obvious foreshadowing; such as Justine’s necklace, or the early college lecture on female circumcision, or a character stating up front how small planes always make them nervous, because they’re afraid they’ll crash. Each time one of these things came up, I thought to myself, “Hmm, that might be important later,” which should never come to mind as I’m watching the film.
The slow first half, and the heavy handed foreshadowing aside, I’d say The Green Inferno is bloody solid. Bloody solid, bloody sick, and, for the most part, bloody terrific. At times, it genuinely disturbed the fuck out of me in ways I didn’t know I could be. This is the anti-Evil Dead, where the carnage isn’t played for laughs or any kind of titillation, but is instead unrelentingly grim and horrifying. It’s a tough film to sell to anyone but the true blue gore junkies. Many casual moviegoers will be understandably repulsed and should definitely, for their own well being, just steer clear.
